People need to stop linking to interesting things at night! I read them, and they get me all excited, and then I can't sleep until I have my two cents out in the open.
Tonight's link is an excellent blog regarding misogyny and Facebook, and the 12-year-old-slut meme.
It calls Facebook out for allowing groups and pages to exist that serve to denigrate, insult, and/or harass women because they're "humour". It makes the excellent point that they do not allow such "humour" to exist when it is against minorities (racial or religious. Sexual minorities seem to be the exception to all hate speech rules).
Read the blog, watch the stunning video. Then come back here for my thoughts on both.
About the blog:
I agree! But I won't give up my Facebook profile because of it. Encourage others to think about and consider what they are doing when they like these groups or pages, and work actively to beautify your little area of the social network. Educate people on why this is not humour, and how these groups are harmful. Be conscious of what you post and like. The biggest way to defeat these awful things is to open dialogue with the more rational people who go along with it (because some people are just not interested in rational discussion, and there is no point wasting energy on them yet) and slowly the circle being conscious will grow, taking away from the circle of people who go along with this.
About the video: I love the idea of this campaign. I love encouraging women to do self-advocacy, to stand up for their rights, and to work together. But I had issue with one of the vignettes: the rape. I felt the racial choice made here could be read as a statement or assumption, but even more I was upset by the idea that she could just suddenly fight him off. Like if someone gets raped it's because they just weren't fighting hard enough. I am sure the creator did not intend it that way, but it is one of those subconscious hidden messages we must always consider.
Alright, bedtime for this sleepy sleepy person.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Saturday Link 2: Sex Ed
I have bad Twitter hygiene. I see things that look interesting and
"favourite" them, fulling intending to return to them soon. And then
they sit there for 2-3 weeks. This morning I was woken up very early by
annoying cats, and not being able to go back to sleep I caught up on
some of those things.
There are two I wish to share today, but I could not bring myself to put them in the same post because while they fit together nicely in my head, they are very very different.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The second is much more uplifting one. In our western world sex education has become politicized. It is not about giving young people information and letting them make healthy, well thought out decisions. It is about religious agendas, political beliefs, and control.
Which is why I love this video put out by @imMEDIAteFilms. It is a sex ed video made by young women for young women (though I would recommend young men and young whatever gender you identify as people watch it as well, it would be beneficial for ALL to see). It emphasizes healthy relationships, consent, awareness of one's body, the complicated world of gender, and knowledge.
It is not a complete sex ed package by far. It does not discuss the science side of things. It does not actually teach about the body, does not explain the processes of arousal/intercourse/reproduction, and does not discuss options. It is focused on the societal and emotional side of things. That being said, what I love about it is that it is not coming from voices of authority but from peers. We need more of this.
Linked to me by @FemFreq
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How do these two links fit together?
The first was an effort to eradicate ignorance, the second is an effort to create positive awareness. These two efforts must co-exist, or we will never move past where we are now.
There are two I wish to share today, but I could not bring myself to put them in the same post because while they fit together nicely in my head, they are very very different.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The second is much more uplifting one. In our western world sex education has become politicized. It is not about giving young people information and letting them make healthy, well thought out decisions. It is about religious agendas, political beliefs, and control.
Which is why I love this video put out by @imMEDIAteFilms. It is a sex ed video made by young women for young women (though I would recommend young men and young whatever gender you identify as people watch it as well, it would be beneficial for ALL to see). It emphasizes healthy relationships, consent, awareness of one's body, the complicated world of gender, and knowledge.
It is not a complete sex ed package by far. It does not discuss the science side of things. It does not actually teach about the body, does not explain the processes of arousal/intercourse/reproduction, and does not discuss options. It is focused on the societal and emotional side of things. That being said, what I love about it is that it is not coming from voices of authority but from peers. We need more of this.
Linked to me by @FemFreq
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do these two links fit together?
The first was an effort to eradicate ignorance, the second is an effort to create positive awareness. These two efforts must co-exist, or we will never move past where we are now.
Saturday Link 1: Defeating Ignorance (Trigger warning!)
I have bad Twitter hygiene. I see things that look interesting and "favourite" them, fulling intending to return to them soon. And then they sit there for 2-3 weeks. This morning I was woken up very early by annoying cats, and not being able to go back to sleep I caught up on some of those things.
There are two I wish to share today, but I could not bring myself to put them in the same post because while they fit together nicely in my head, they are very very different.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The first piece has to do with children of rape. I did not go into the whole Todd Akin thing on here because 1) I was on vacation, 2) I would not have been able to stop ranting if I tried, and 3) it was being discussed by much more knowledgeable people all over the world. But rest assured it did anger me very very much.
This article is one of many responses that has been posted. It is a heartbreaking read, very upsetting, and absolutely necessary. To be able to discuss issues related to rape and abortion we need to be willing to hear the hard stories.
It is definitely an article that comes with a trigger warning however.
The Legitimate Children of Rape (from the New Yorker)
(Credit: linked to me by @brainpicker)
There are two I wish to share today, but I could not bring myself to put them in the same post because while they fit together nicely in my head, they are very very different.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The first piece has to do with children of rape. I did not go into the whole Todd Akin thing on here because 1) I was on vacation, 2) I would not have been able to stop ranting if I tried, and 3) it was being discussed by much more knowledgeable people all over the world. But rest assured it did anger me very very much.
This article is one of many responses that has been posted. It is a heartbreaking read, very upsetting, and absolutely necessary. To be able to discuss issues related to rape and abortion we need to be willing to hear the hard stories.
It is definitely an article that comes with a trigger warning however.
The Legitimate Children of Rape (from the New Yorker)
(Credit: linked to me by @brainpicker)
Friday, September 21, 2012
Link & Share: Victim Blaming
Everyone needs to read this: http://unwinona.tumblr.com/post/30861660109/i-debated-whether-or-not-to-share-this-story
I have had the discussion too many times where I try to convince males that yes, it really is scary to be a woman. I have talked with other women about the things we do because it is almost impossible to feel safe walking down the street at night. About trying to memorize distinct features of every person you see, just in case they are the one who can't control themselves. About knowing how you would use your purse/keys/shoes/etc as a weapon and holding them that way JUST IN CASE. And often males tell me I'm making it up, or that I am just paranoid, etc. etc.
READ THIS ARTICLE.
Also, on a related but different note, I really enjoyed this picture from a Facebook friend (see not all shares are ones that enrage me!):
It says it pretty much perfectly.
I have had the discussion too many times where I try to convince males that yes, it really is scary to be a woman. I have talked with other women about the things we do because it is almost impossible to feel safe walking down the street at night. About trying to memorize distinct features of every person you see, just in case they are the one who can't control themselves. About knowing how you would use your purse/keys/shoes/etc as a weapon and holding them that way JUST IN CASE. And often males tell me I'm making it up, or that I am just paranoid, etc. etc.
READ THIS ARTICLE.
Also, on a related but different note, I really enjoyed this picture from a Facebook friend (see not all shares are ones that enrage me!):
It says it pretty much perfectly.
Friday, September 14, 2012
Blog Love - Prince Charmings need not apply
I love when I find someone else whose blog has said what I think (or close enough to be worth sharing) and done it better than I could anyways.
Go read this. She says it well, so there is no need for me to.
Go read this. She says it well, so there is no need for me to.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Sluts & Hos - articles
So apparently when you make your feminist rant-iness known, people start linking you to more stuff. Excellent...
1. Slut-Shaming article.
This article was brought to my attention by a friend tagging me in Facebook. I was very glad she did, as I really enjoyed this article. Not because I give a damn about Kristen Stewart, but because I am so tired off society's madonna/whore complex: women are either innocent, pure virgins or they are awful sluts; with no middle ground. Also because male celebrities don't face anywhere NEAR this kind of backlash when they have infidelities.
Oh no! She slept with someone other than who you expected to! Clearly we must burn her at the stake! ⸮
(In case you don't know that weird thing is one of the marks that has been suggested throughout history for denoting sarcasm. I will go down that tangent some other time).
2. Big booty ho article.
This one makes me very very punch-y. My mom shared it on Facebook today, with a note that she was unable to watch the entire video. I completely understand why. I made myself watch the whole thing despite being both offended and horrified.
For this blog I will mention but not discuss the gratuitous violence of a group of young males beating up a clown (for the crime of not being a woman with large gluteal muscles apparently?). I would like to point out that many of the women are "dancing" in a way that makes it look like they are being restrained by their hands, and that none of them look to be enjoying themselves at all. But these aren't really women, are they? They are simple transport modules to carry around the tits and ass that the rappers are so interested in.
The article makes great points, and stands on its own without me having to really add any more thoughts about it. What I do want to add is that I am not a complete prude. I have no problem with the female body being used in music videos per say, even naked female bodies. I just think it has to be well done and respectful. For an example of a music video that uses nudity in a respectful, artistic way I recommend Amanda Palmer's "Want It Back" (NSFW obviously). The differences in how nudity is handled?
She is not super-sexualized; her body is being used as a canvas basically. Although there is a scene where she is restrained there is nothing about it that seems like she is being degraded, and the emphasis is on her coming free from from the restraints. It also helps knowing that she was an integral part of the creative team coming up with the concept, not someone hired to fill out a thong and bra.
Speaking of her, as I adore her comfort with herself and her body, I will use her as another example of a song and video that are even focused explicitly on female body parts, but I still find far less offensive. My only issue with her "Map of Tasmania" video is that all the women are skinny and relatively clean-shaven, which goes against the wording of the song. But it is still quite funny, and not degrading.
See? We can use women's bodies in art without degrading them!
(Looking back these things don't fit together as well as I had planned, but I'm okay with it.)
1. Slut-Shaming article.
This article was brought to my attention by a friend tagging me in Facebook. I was very glad she did, as I really enjoyed this article. Not because I give a damn about Kristen Stewart, but because I am so tired off society's madonna/whore complex: women are either innocent, pure virgins or they are awful sluts; with no middle ground. Also because male celebrities don't face anywhere NEAR this kind of backlash when they have infidelities.
Oh no! She slept with someone other than who you expected to! Clearly we must burn her at the stake! ⸮
(In case you don't know that weird thing is one of the marks that has been suggested throughout history for denoting sarcasm. I will go down that tangent some other time).
2. Big booty ho article.
This one makes me very very punch-y. My mom shared it on Facebook today, with a note that she was unable to watch the entire video. I completely understand why. I made myself watch the whole thing despite being both offended and horrified.
For this blog I will mention but not discuss the gratuitous violence of a group of young males beating up a clown (for the crime of not being a woman with large gluteal muscles apparently?). I would like to point out that many of the women are "dancing" in a way that makes it look like they are being restrained by their hands, and that none of them look to be enjoying themselves at all. But these aren't really women, are they? They are simple transport modules to carry around the tits and ass that the rappers are so interested in.
The article makes great points, and stands on its own without me having to really add any more thoughts about it. What I do want to add is that I am not a complete prude. I have no problem with the female body being used in music videos per say, even naked female bodies. I just think it has to be well done and respectful. For an example of a music video that uses nudity in a respectful, artistic way I recommend Amanda Palmer's "Want It Back" (NSFW obviously). The differences in how nudity is handled?
She is not super-sexualized; her body is being used as a canvas basically. Although there is a scene where she is restrained there is nothing about it that seems like she is being degraded, and the emphasis is on her coming free from from the restraints. It also helps knowing that she was an integral part of the creative team coming up with the concept, not someone hired to fill out a thong and bra.
Speaking of her, as I adore her comfort with herself and her body, I will use her as another example of a song and video that are even focused explicitly on female body parts, but I still find far less offensive. My only issue with her "Map of Tasmania" video is that all the women are skinny and relatively clean-shaven, which goes against the wording of the song. But it is still quite funny, and not degrading.
See? We can use women's bodies in art without degrading them!
(Looking back these things don't fit together as well as I had planned, but I'm okay with it.)
Friday, September 7, 2012
Videos: Target Women
I love things that critically analyze media, such as CBC's "Under the Influence" radio show.
I love things that are feminist.
Therefore I love these videos that I was introduced to today: Target Women is a series of videos that look at how advertising that is targeted at women is flawed in a sarcastic, hilarious way.
Wedding Shows: (because we all know that all women think about are weddings!)
Chick Flicks (also, the girl in the first movie made me think of Feminist Frequency's first Trope vs. Women in Movies video)
Number Two: (I can't help but love the word "poopadox")
Okay... deja vu moment... creepy
Moving on
Chocolate
Okay, I like/love pretty much all of them. A special place in my heart however goes to this one simply because I love the sentence "milk will also bring sunshine to a land devastated by your period tears".
I will quit linking to and talking about these now, so I can focus more on simply watching them.
I love things that are feminist.
Therefore I love these videos that I was introduced to today: Target Women is a series of videos that look at how advertising that is targeted at women is flawed in a sarcastic, hilarious way.
Wedding Shows: (because we all know that all women think about are weddings!)
Chick Flicks (also, the girl in the first movie made me think of Feminist Frequency's first Trope vs. Women in Movies video)
Number Two: (I can't help but love the word "poopadox")
Okay... deja vu moment... creepy
Moving on
Chocolate
Okay, I like/love pretty much all of them. A special place in my heart however goes to this one simply because I love the sentence "milk will also bring sunshine to a land devastated by your period tears".
I will quit linking to and talking about these now, so I can focus more on simply watching them.
Monday, September 3, 2012
What are Daughters Good For?
This post is a few days late, but it has been a complicated few days so I am alright with that.
Saturday was "Daughters Day", with a celebration in Churchill Square. I haven't decided how I feel about this, I think I need to do more reading on why it exists. My gut instinct is feeling that we need to celebrate ALL people, not segregate into celebrating by gender, though I do agree we need to acknowledge the vulnerabilities of the female end of the gender spectrum and work to remedy them.
However, that's not what I am writing about. On Friday I was in my car listening to the radio when an interview about Daughters Day came on. The woman being interviewed stated that it was important to celebrate Daughters, giving only one reason: they are the ones who raise children.
Excuse me? That is the only thing you could come up with for why Daughters are important? If we are going to segregate celebrating people into gender specific days, can we at least think of other ways females can add value to society?
I refuse to accept that my only value to society as a person on the more female end of the gender spectrum is my uterus. Further, as someone who has no intention of having children (and is most likely not physically capable anyways) I am offended...does this mean I then have no value in your mind?
There are lots of ways that people on the female end of the spectrum contribute to society. And since part of the day was focused on issues like abuse and poverty, here are a few that could have been very relevant:
-in developing countries research has shown that providing assistance to "females" (I will use that word instead of mentioning the spectrum every time) is one of the most efficient ways to help lift a community out of poverty
-"females" now make up pretty much half of the working world, and generate about half (I seem to remember hearing 55% somewhere but am not sure where) of revenue in North America. Considering that in general "females" are being paid 70 cents to the dollar for the same work for men, that is pretty impressive!
-"females" are more vulnerable to violence and marginalization but still manage to do pretty much every thing "males" do, often in environments where "male" is still considered the norm and the more acceptable and expected way to be.
I provide a lot of value to my community. I work full-time, often having a second (or even third) job going as well. The work I have chosen helps people with multiple disadvantages overcome them and gain independence, dignity, and ways to become more productive members of society themselves. I contribute financially: not only do I pay my taxes, I also donate to charities when I can. I volunteer for groups so I can help further their causes. I do everything I am capable of to help take care of those I love, both family and friends. I enter each day of my life with the goal to do more positive than negative that day, and generally I succeed.
So if you want to talk about the value of Daughters, let's think a little harder than just what their uterus allows them to do.
Saturday was "Daughters Day", with a celebration in Churchill Square. I haven't decided how I feel about this, I think I need to do more reading on why it exists. My gut instinct is feeling that we need to celebrate ALL people, not segregate into celebrating by gender, though I do agree we need to acknowledge the vulnerabilities of the female end of the gender spectrum and work to remedy them.
However, that's not what I am writing about. On Friday I was in my car listening to the radio when an interview about Daughters Day came on. The woman being interviewed stated that it was important to celebrate Daughters, giving only one reason: they are the ones who raise children.
Excuse me? That is the only thing you could come up with for why Daughters are important? If we are going to segregate celebrating people into gender specific days, can we at least think of other ways females can add value to society?
I refuse to accept that my only value to society as a person on the more female end of the gender spectrum is my uterus. Further, as someone who has no intention of having children (and is most likely not physically capable anyways) I am offended...does this mean I then have no value in your mind?
There are lots of ways that people on the female end of the spectrum contribute to society. And since part of the day was focused on issues like abuse and poverty, here are a few that could have been very relevant:
-in developing countries research has shown that providing assistance to "females" (I will use that word instead of mentioning the spectrum every time) is one of the most efficient ways to help lift a community out of poverty
-"females" now make up pretty much half of the working world, and generate about half (I seem to remember hearing 55% somewhere but am not sure where) of revenue in North America. Considering that in general "females" are being paid 70 cents to the dollar for the same work for men, that is pretty impressive!
-"females" are more vulnerable to violence and marginalization but still manage to do pretty much every thing "males" do, often in environments where "male" is still considered the norm and the more acceptable and expected way to be.
I provide a lot of value to my community. I work full-time, often having a second (or even third) job going as well. The work I have chosen helps people with multiple disadvantages overcome them and gain independence, dignity, and ways to become more productive members of society themselves. I contribute financially: not only do I pay my taxes, I also donate to charities when I can. I volunteer for groups so I can help further their causes. I do everything I am capable of to help take care of those I love, both family and friends. I enter each day of my life with the goal to do more positive than negative that day, and generally I succeed.
So if you want to talk about the value of Daughters, let's think a little harder than just what their uterus allows them to do.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Not related to gender - why birthdays are important
Today was/is my 27th birthday. I am by blessed to have lots of fantastic people in my life who sent me messages in a variety of ways expressing their love.
But some things did not go so well. Mostly silly little things, but enough of them built up that I felt very discouraged and ignored (in a specific setting, again I know there were people in my social life who sent me much appreciated love and wishes, and I do not mean to demean or belittle that).
Part of it is that people start to see birthdays as frivolous and inconsequential as time goes on. But I still feel they are really important, and want to celebrate them.
Why? As a teenager I dealt with a lot of serious depression. I was suicidal. I attempted suicide more than once, but luckily never completed it. Maybe they were just cries for attention, but in me they were real. The pain was real. The not feeling able to deal with it was real.
But here I am. I am happy, and loved, and so very glad to be alive. And every year that I continue to be alive is worth celebrating. The mere fact that it has been another solar cycle and I am still on this Earth is worth acknowledging. The fact it is another year where I have not felt suicidal at any point is worth celebrating vibrantly!
That is why I think birthdays are important. After a year with a lot of death or near-death in my family I want to celebrate another year that I am still alive and living. I want to look back on the year and those that have been lost and remember them. I want to look forward to another year to come filled with experience, both good and bad.
Everyone has something to celebrate on their birthday. Everyone has won some victory by making another lap around the sun. And everyone deserves to feel acknowledged and special on their birthday.
I hope I can make more of an effort this year to make all of those in my life feel more special on their birthdays. Because birthdays are definitely important.
But some things did not go so well. Mostly silly little things, but enough of them built up that I felt very discouraged and ignored (in a specific setting, again I know there were people in my social life who sent me much appreciated love and wishes, and I do not mean to demean or belittle that).
Part of it is that people start to see birthdays as frivolous and inconsequential as time goes on. But I still feel they are really important, and want to celebrate them.
Why? As a teenager I dealt with a lot of serious depression. I was suicidal. I attempted suicide more than once, but luckily never completed it. Maybe they were just cries for attention, but in me they were real. The pain was real. The not feeling able to deal with it was real.
But here I am. I am happy, and loved, and so very glad to be alive. And every year that I continue to be alive is worth celebrating. The mere fact that it has been another solar cycle and I am still on this Earth is worth acknowledging. The fact it is another year where I have not felt suicidal at any point is worth celebrating vibrantly!
That is why I think birthdays are important. After a year with a lot of death or near-death in my family I want to celebrate another year that I am still alive and living. I want to look back on the year and those that have been lost and remember them. I want to look forward to another year to come filled with experience, both good and bad.
Everyone has something to celebrate on their birthday. Everyone has won some victory by making another lap around the sun. And everyone deserves to feel acknowledged and special on their birthday.
I hope I can make more of an effort this year to make all of those in my life feel more special on their birthdays. Because birthdays are definitely important.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Another Facebook Stereotype
I have to say, my facebook friends have been pretty good about not annoying me with stereotype posts lately. Yay! However this one, despite coming originally from someone I deeply respect and love (George Takei), bothers me.
While I can see the humor (and it does remind me of the quite funny dog/cat one), it still bugs me. Because the woman's life is basically shopping, and trying to figure out her man. Sigh.
However, I will also post one I loved. This has nothing to do with gender, really, but made me smile and is quite appreciated for its message:
While I can see the humor (and it does remind me of the quite funny dog/cat one), it still bugs me. Because the woman's life is basically shopping, and trying to figure out her man. Sigh.
However, I will also post one I loved. This has nothing to do with gender, really, but made me smile and is quite appreciated for its message:
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Chick Lit
I am currently sitting in the guest bedroom of my grandparents' house on beautiful Vancouver Island. This is the last day of my vacation here. This vacation has included much reading.
Due to weight and space issues I had to cut the 7 books I hoped to bring down to 4. This meant, of course, I ran out of books pretty darn quick. Two of the books had been quite enjoyable Steampunk*-style fantasy books with a romance story in. The main character, a slightly Mary-Sue like female, had dimension, was quite capable, and was someone you could cheer for.
Unfortunately however those books (and being on vacation) sparked a craving in me for romances. I enjoy well-written romance books. They are my way of living vicariously. However, after a number of free iBook really bad romances, and a couple of supposed-to-be-vaguely-legit "chick-lit" books, I am feeling very irritated and annoyed.
The female main characters are almost better written in the really trashy books than the chick-lit. In the chick-lit I find the females are all vain, shallow, incompetent, ditzy, and completely one-dimensional. They all love shopping, talking about men, partying, and more shopping. They all have jobs, but those jobs seem to be nothing but a necessary annoyance to them. They have no real interests (though often the male characters have a variety of exciting and enjoyable hobbies).
These women always get themselves into bad situations by doing something completely idiotic, and then lying and doing even stupider things to try to cover up. Eventually all their idiocy comes out, but Surprise! The male character admits an irresistible and everlasting love for her despite, or even because of, the ditziness and idiocy.
Cut me a break. Can I PLEASE have a female character I can actually relate to? One who would pass the Bechdel test by talking to her friends about something other than men? (Or shopping for that matter?) How about a character who is capable, strong, and can communicate effectively? Or a character who is into crafts or activism or skydiving or gaming or ANYTHING other than shopping? How about a character who has friends she talks to about work and family and fun stuff they have done recently instead of just boys?
Can I have a character who isn't swept off her feet by cheesy lines and unrealistic promises? How about one who believes in herself, even if single, without coming off like an ice-queen? Or one who values her independence and strength?
Basically, can I please have a character that isn't a caricature for all that is wrong with gender stereotypes in this society? Otherwise I will have to write my own book and that's a scary premise.
(Disclaimer: I have found a few chick-lit authors who manage to write half-decent (though still pretty one-dimensional and depressingly incompetent) characters. They are just few and far between. I have learned my lesson however, and will not be straying from them again anytime soon.)
*I recently decided I needed to explore this genre that produced such amazing esthetics. After finding a list of recommended books online I set about finding them and devouring them. It has been a very enjoyable experience, and I have discovered some great books. I look forward to tackling a new genre when I finish this list.
Due to weight and space issues I had to cut the 7 books I hoped to bring down to 4. This meant, of course, I ran out of books pretty darn quick. Two of the books had been quite enjoyable Steampunk*-style fantasy books with a romance story in. The main character, a slightly Mary-Sue like female, had dimension, was quite capable, and was someone you could cheer for.
Unfortunately however those books (and being on vacation) sparked a craving in me for romances. I enjoy well-written romance books. They are my way of living vicariously. However, after a number of free iBook really bad romances, and a couple of supposed-to-be-vaguely-legit "chick-lit" books, I am feeling very irritated and annoyed.
The female main characters are almost better written in the really trashy books than the chick-lit. In the chick-lit I find the females are all vain, shallow, incompetent, ditzy, and completely one-dimensional. They all love shopping, talking about men, partying, and more shopping. They all have jobs, but those jobs seem to be nothing but a necessary annoyance to them. They have no real interests (though often the male characters have a variety of exciting and enjoyable hobbies).
These women always get themselves into bad situations by doing something completely idiotic, and then lying and doing even stupider things to try to cover up. Eventually all their idiocy comes out, but Surprise! The male character admits an irresistible and everlasting love for her despite, or even because of, the ditziness and idiocy.
Cut me a break. Can I PLEASE have a female character I can actually relate to? One who would pass the Bechdel test by talking to her friends about something other than men? (Or shopping for that matter?) How about a character who is capable, strong, and can communicate effectively? Or a character who is into crafts or activism or skydiving or gaming or ANYTHING other than shopping? How about a character who has friends she talks to about work and family and fun stuff they have done recently instead of just boys?
Can I have a character who isn't swept off her feet by cheesy lines and unrealistic promises? How about one who believes in herself, even if single, without coming off like an ice-queen? Or one who values her independence and strength?
Basically, can I please have a character that isn't a caricature for all that is wrong with gender stereotypes in this society? Otherwise I will have to write my own book and that's a scary premise.
(Disclaimer: I have found a few chick-lit authors who manage to write half-decent (though still pretty one-dimensional and depressingly incompetent) characters. They are just few and far between. I have learned my lesson however, and will not be straying from them again anytime soon.)
*I recently decided I needed to explore this genre that produced such amazing esthetics. After finding a list of recommended books online I set about finding them and devouring them. It has been a very enjoyable experience, and I have discovered some great books. I look forward to tackling a new genre when I finish this list.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Link: Blog post on Science: It's a Girl Thing
I love science. I love physics and the strangeness of the Universe, that's why it is my favourite thing to teach. I love Chemistry for it's detail and intricacy, and for the truth that things are always in balance or equilibrium. Biology I didn't always love, but I will now admit to loving parts: how the brain works (which I hope to go back to school to study more some day), how diseases work, how genetics works... such cool stuff.
So I was quite disturbed by the EU's attempt to lure women into sciences with their "Science: It's a Girl Thing" project. But everything I could ever want to say has been said by women I greatly respect and admire, so I will let them say it.
It's a bit like going down the rabbit hole: @Scidoll from the twitterverse has put together a blog post with all the great links. So start with her post and follow all the links at the bottom. And if you are NOT left speechless, let me know what you think.
So I was quite disturbed by the EU's attempt to lure women into sciences with their "Science: It's a Girl Thing" project. But everything I could ever want to say has been said by women I greatly respect and admire, so I will let them say it.
It's a bit like going down the rabbit hole: @Scidoll from the twitterverse has put together a blog post with all the great links. So start with her post and follow all the links at the bottom. And if you are NOT left speechless, let me know what you think.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Article Review: Harrassment and abuse
Tonight I let my cat out on the balcony, but then got bored and came inside. I don't completely trust her, so I sat at my computer and looked through my various RSS feeds for something to entertain me while she explored her 20-30 square feet of wild blue yonder. I ended up reading a blog post by Felicia Day about some trolling she recently experienced. Looking through the comments (because this was one place I could look through comments and see mostly encouragement and positivity), I found a couple of links posted by people trying to explain why men can be so demeaning and abusive towards women.
The first one, a cracked.com post on men hating women started really interesting and making some good points. His first point, that men are trained by movies and TV that they will get a "hot" woman for their trouble (whatever that happens to be) seemed very logical to me. The second, that men are trained to see women as decoration, was one most women are very aware of but was another perspective on it. So far so good. Then it all went downhill, with the remaining reasons basically being about how men can't help themselves from falling into the lowest common denominator. It reinforces the concept that there is some deep physiological contrast in men and women that MAKES men act certain ways. To me this is just as demeaning towards men as the things I complain about are towards women.
The second one from the BBC with the specific context of harassment in gaming is more measured and a pretty good read although it doesn't really add anything new to the discussion. The one man interviewed who claims that women should just expect this because it's what guys do is disturbing, and again goes back to the excuse that men have to be crude (and cruel) because they are made that way.
Thoughts? Is biology an excuse for abusive treatment of women? Why are women in gaming considered to be open targets?
(Time to go try to let the cat in for the eighth time. She's been making her mind up for the last half hour... how stereotypical of her)
The first one, a cracked.com post on men hating women started really interesting and making some good points. His first point, that men are trained by movies and TV that they will get a "hot" woman for their trouble (whatever that happens to be) seemed very logical to me. The second, that men are trained to see women as decoration, was one most women are very aware of but was another perspective on it. So far so good. Then it all went downhill, with the remaining reasons basically being about how men can't help themselves from falling into the lowest common denominator. It reinforces the concept that there is some deep physiological contrast in men and women that MAKES men act certain ways. To me this is just as demeaning towards men as the things I complain about are towards women.
The second one from the BBC with the specific context of harassment in gaming is more measured and a pretty good read although it doesn't really add anything new to the discussion. The one man interviewed who claims that women should just expect this because it's what guys do is disturbing, and again goes back to the excuse that men have to be crude (and cruel) because they are made that way.
Thoughts? Is biology an excuse for abusive treatment of women? Why are women in gaming considered to be open targets?
(Time to go try to let the cat in for the eighth time. She's been making her mind up for the last half hour... how stereotypical of her)
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Divisiveness of Gender
I was intending to post tonight on names and why I love my gender-neutral name, but that post will have to wait a day or two.
On my walk home from work I listened to the second half of that CBC podcast I linked to, which is about a family who has chosen to not reveal the gender of their infant. They talked about instances with their older two children (who identify as boys but are very fluid in their identity and are often taken as being girls) and some of the incidents they have faced. While I LOVED their attitude and the way they dealt with it, I found it sad that someone's gender would be such an issue to someone else.
Then I got home and thought about other things, and started watching streaming video. One show I watch (a guilty pleasure) is a Canadian singing competition where two workplace teams compete for charity. And the first group did a beautiful mash-up of hopeful songs that made me cry. One of the songs was "One World" and the between the wonderful performance and the judge's comments I went back to my earlier thoughts.
Why do we have to see gender as so divisive? Why do we insist on a system that emphasizes the differences and not the similarities? And most of all, why do we get so freaked out when such a system is called into question?
On my walk home from work I listened to the second half of that CBC podcast I linked to, which is about a family who has chosen to not reveal the gender of their infant. They talked about instances with their older two children (who identify as boys but are very fluid in their identity and are often taken as being girls) and some of the incidents they have faced. While I LOVED their attitude and the way they dealt with it, I found it sad that someone's gender would be such an issue to someone else.
Then I got home and thought about other things, and started watching streaming video. One show I watch (a guilty pleasure) is a Canadian singing competition where two workplace teams compete for charity. And the first group did a beautiful mash-up of hopeful songs that made me cry. One of the songs was "One World" and the between the wonderful performance and the judge's comments I went back to my earlier thoughts.
Why do we have to see gender as so divisive? Why do we insist on a system that emphasizes the differences and not the similarities? And most of all, why do we get so freaked out when such a system is called into question?
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Facebook = Stereotypes
I don't know if it is that I am more aware lately or if it has actually gotten worse, but I am finding parts of my Facebook feed really hard to handle lately because of all the "funny" pictures that promote gender stereotypes.
The stereotype I have been having the hardest time with lately is about relationships and how women treat men. It is the stereotype that it is a man's job to keep his woman happy, and that the woman will make him miserable with nagging if he doesn't. The ones about how a woman is always right and is the boss. I am driven nuts by sayings like "happy wife, happy life" or cartoons like this. I feel these are RIDICULOUSLY harmful to our concepts of relationships. They spread the stereotype that women are unreasonable, passive-aggressive, and unwilling to compromise. I had two others on my feed today, but before I decided to write this I hid them and now can't find them to show examples.
Am I the only person in the world who believes a healthy relationship involves compromise on BOTH sides, rational discussion, and mutual respect? I don't want a relationship where I get what I want all the time, I want a relationship where we work like a team and get what WE want.
If women want respect we have to stop encouraging the stereotypes about ourselves. Encouraging other women and showing ourselves to be demanding, passive-aggressive, and unwilling to listen only hurts us and our attempts to create a healthier, more equal future. And even if I love you, I will hide your posts when they have stereotypical portrayals.
The stereotype I have been having the hardest time with lately is about relationships and how women treat men. It is the stereotype that it is a man's job to keep his woman happy, and that the woman will make him miserable with nagging if he doesn't. The ones about how a woman is always right and is the boss. I am driven nuts by sayings like "happy wife, happy life" or cartoons like this. I feel these are RIDICULOUSLY harmful to our concepts of relationships. They spread the stereotype that women are unreasonable, passive-aggressive, and unwilling to compromise. I had two others on my feed today, but before I decided to write this I hid them and now can't find them to show examples.
Am I the only person in the world who believes a healthy relationship involves compromise on BOTH sides, rational discussion, and mutual respect? I don't want a relationship where I get what I want all the time, I want a relationship where we work like a team and get what WE want.
If women want respect we have to stop encouraging the stereotypes about ourselves. Encouraging other women and showing ourselves to be demanding, passive-aggressive, and unwilling to listen only hurts us and our attempts to create a healthier, more equal future. And even if I love you, I will hide your posts when they have stereotypical portrayals.
Link: The Gender Trap podcast
I love radio documentaries. In a strange way even more than film documentaries, though that might just be because they are more portable and can be enjoyed while I try to get exercise (a WHOLE other issue in my life!).
One of my favourite things is therefore the CBC radio show "Ideas" which I enjoy in podcast form while going for walks or runs. It is a series of radio documentaries about anything and everything under the sun. Sometimes I agree with what is being said (lots of times), and sometimes I disagree but listen anyway because it's good to be informed and open.
A great episode I just finished listening to is The Gender Trap, Part 1. I have no idea how long they keep podcasts up, but if it is still up you can check it out at http://www.cbc.ca/ideas/episodes/2012/04/25/the-gender-trap-part-1/
It is an analysis of the faults in the science behind "male brains" and "female brains", and looking at the role unconscious bias plays in the development of children at very young ages. I quite enjoyed it. I have just started Part 2, which is about the family in Toronto who decided to keep their child's gender a secret which seems fantastic and interesting and may be the subject of another post later.
One of my favourite things is therefore the CBC radio show "Ideas" which I enjoy in podcast form while going for walks or runs. It is a series of radio documentaries about anything and everything under the sun. Sometimes I agree with what is being said (lots of times), and sometimes I disagree but listen anyway because it's good to be informed and open.
A great episode I just finished listening to is The Gender Trap, Part 1. I have no idea how long they keep podcasts up, but if it is still up you can check it out at http://www.cbc.ca/ideas/episodes/2012/04/25/the-gender-trap-part-1/
It is an analysis of the faults in the science behind "male brains" and "female brains", and looking at the role unconscious bias plays in the development of children at very young ages. I quite enjoyed it. I have just started Part 2, which is about the family in Toronto who decided to keep their child's gender a secret which seems fantastic and interesting and may be the subject of another post later.
Introduction
I am starting this blog as a place to post my rants, findings, and thoughts about gender. Why? Because lately I have been seeing more and more things about gender issues (women's health rights stuff in the States, internet attacks on females for having opinions, and harmful stereotypes jumping out at me everywhere to name a few).
To state my position on gender very clearly from the start: I believe a dichotomous system of gender (male/female) is convenient, but false. I see gender as a spectrum, partially because I believe I fall fairly middle on that spectrum. In some ideal future world gender will be seen and treated this way, and people will be seen and treated as who they are, not what category they fall in.
However we are not in that world. And we cannot be until we see people from all over the spectrum as having the same value. We don't. So, in the current world we have to use the male/female dichotomy until we can bring the two sides to equal. In this dichotomy, I am female. And I am feminist. And I have lots of opinions that I want to type up and put out there, even if no one wants to read them.
The things I feel the need to post about soon are:
-The importance of a name (my own experiences with having a gender-neutral, or maybe better described as gender-confusing, name)
-Why do we find stereotypes so witty?
-Life as a female math/science teacher
-Why does society get so freaked out when we challenge stereotypes and ideas?
-Media and pop culture
-And many other random little thoughts I have.
To state my position on gender very clearly from the start: I believe a dichotomous system of gender (male/female) is convenient, but false. I see gender as a spectrum, partially because I believe I fall fairly middle on that spectrum. In some ideal future world gender will be seen and treated this way, and people will be seen and treated as who they are, not what category they fall in.
However we are not in that world. And we cannot be until we see people from all over the spectrum as having the same value. We don't. So, in the current world we have to use the male/female dichotomy until we can bring the two sides to equal. In this dichotomy, I am female. And I am feminist. And I have lots of opinions that I want to type up and put out there, even if no one wants to read them.
The things I feel the need to post about soon are:
-The importance of a name (my own experiences with having a gender-neutral, or maybe better described as gender-confusing, name)
-Why do we find stereotypes so witty?
-Life as a female math/science teacher
-Why does society get so freaked out when we challenge stereotypes and ideas?
-Media and pop culture
-And many other random little thoughts I have.
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