When I took my current role, I locked down all my social media. I set everything to private, changed some user names, and removed as much public information about myself as I could. This was all in the name of making it harder for upset students to find me.
For the most part this has had little effect on my life. I am clearly not an influencer, and while I love a good selfie and bit of positive reinforcement, I am past the heyday of my social media use. This had roughly zero change on my social media habits on most apps.
Except one. The blue bird app (the one with short, 140 character [or is it 280 now?] responses) has been really interesting with a locked down account. I think it comes from the nature of the app - said tweety app is designed for interacting in short messages with people you don't know. With my account locked down, I cannot respond to anyone I don't know. I get a polite little message reminding me that they won't be able to see my response.
And it is glorious. I love not being able to respond to people. It is one of the best things I have done for my mental health.
I love that I cannot argue with people saying awful things that I disagree with. I was never a huge internet-fighter, but I had my topics that I would let myself get sucked into arguments about. And that was playing into their hands. It gave them attention, encouraged the algorithm to spread their awful words further, and often destroyed my mood. I highly doubt it ever got anywhere anyways. There are plenty of other folks out there engaging in those fights.
I love that it encourages me to take time. Not being able to respond to people encourages me to take time with their ideas, reflect on them, and decide if I want to do something with them later. It slows the process down (the same thing I like about blogging), which allows for better understanding and a more thoughtful approach.
I love that it forces me to do the virtual equivalent of listening more than I talk. It reminds me that I don't always have to share my thoughts; that I can keep them inside, explore them, reflect on them, and nurture the ones that I want to see grow. It helps me practice the art of listening to understand, rather than listening to respond.
On an app designed for short, fast responses and people shouting over each other in more and more extreme ways, I have forced myself to engage with it in the opposite way. I do post a bit, respond to friends, and share things with my little world of followers. But on an app based on everyone shouting their thoughts into the world, there is something wonderful about only being able to listen.
(All of that said, there are times I truly dislike it. I can't try to befriend the wonderful people that I see but don't already know. When I want to encourage someone who is having a bad day, I am limited in my ability to do so. Those are the times I curse the need to be private).
I share this because it goes beyond social media. It has helped me practice these same skills - not wasting my time arguing with someone who just wants to argue, taking my time to respond to things, and listening rather than responding - elsewhere. If those are skills you also find valuable, I encourage you to joyfully practice not responding.
(But respond to me and tell me you like my blogs. I do like that positive reinforcement after all <3)
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