I flew back to Canada a little under a week ago (strange to think!). After the chaos described in my last post the rest of the trip was pretty unexciting. I arrived safely to be greeted with a hug by my mum and friend Chris. Mum headed back home and Chris and I went about collecting Quirk which was a bit of a process. We eventually got the cat, who was traumatized but otherwise safe and healthy, and headed to Chris' place. I was completely exhausted but stayed up visiting until a reasonably late time and fell hard asleep, only to wake up at about 4 in the morning and be unable to fall back asleep. I was not very impressed.
Since then my body has been working on normalizing. My sleep is still a little wonky - mostly I just wake up early when I don't want to. Quirk is staying with Chris for the time being, so when in the city ai have been as well. I just returned from a wonderful three days home with my family (strange and wonderful as always!)
The hardest part for me right now is simply not having my own space and feeling very unsettled. I have been lining up apartment viewings. So far I have seen one that seems like it could be good, if it is still available tomorrow I will go give them a deposit and my application. I have also decided to buy a car again after much debate with myself and others. That could be a whole post on its own. I am pretty excited however.
I start work in a week and am really excited. I am returning to a place I have worked before and quite enjoyed. I am also looking into a side job writing items for exams, I have a meeting tomorrow afternoon about it. I am hoping to make a little extra cash to help with savings and paying off the credit card bills I have been building with this whole adventure.
So that's all the practical stuff. On the emotional end I am much better than I was. I find myself getting down a fair bit but that is related to feeling the lack of my own space and just feeling overwhelmed by everything I have to deal with. Nothing like the depression was. Otherwise I just feel better. I remember now who I am and am still just shocked at how quickly that all got lost. I was messaging with someone the other day who mentioned that even over texts they could tell I was happier. This made perfect sense to me as I know I carry a very different tone usually than I did during this stuff. I would like to think I'm funnier and more fun now than I had been being. I still have moments where everything feels completely surreal, it is hard to believe everything that has happened. I would like to believe it was all some crazy dream. Once I get more settled and sorted I will be fully back to myself and have a better time processing it all.
And Quirk? She's a little grumpy with me for leaving her while I went home. But she is slowly (very slowly) getting her behaviour normalized as well. She'll never be quite the same cat as she originally was - she has seen too much to go back to that innocent state! - but I think she'll be okay. There's no sign so far of the health problems she was having in England which I take as a good sign.
I meant this to be organized and cohesive, but my body is convinced it's bed time and very sleepy. So I will end here.
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