I'm having a lot of trouble reflecting on my year that's finishing. The word that keeps coming to mind is failure, and I need to explore why.
Let me step back and say all the things that I didn't fail at this year. I'm kicking butt in school, with only two terms left to go. I've grown at work and, while I'm far from perfect, I'm pretty good at what I do. Plus I get to marry the man I love.
But yet, I feel like I'm not living up to what I should be. My health slid badly, as evidenced by my knee and walking problems. And current size. I have neglected friendships and am currently not doing any volunteer work. My house is a disaster and I'm unable to keep up. I don't cook enough, eat out too much, and am not being good at being domestic. And far too often this year I have let my anxiety win.
I guess at the end of the day, every year is a mixed bag. I know areas I want to work on, and next year there will be different areas. And others the year after that. Because I guess this is how life goes. And we keep going and keep improving. And sometimes slide back, but then just improve again. This doesn't make me a failure, just human. And that's okay.
