This year, instead of a ridiculous resolution I would just break in a few weeks, I set myself twin goals. The first is body positivity - to actively work every day on loving my fat body the way it is and fight the critical voice in my head. This goal has already proved hard, but worth it. And I am excited at the thought of getting a related tattoo in late spring (with my sister in law).
The second goal was to introduce some regular, sustainable fitness into my life. I have noticed much less mobility and flexibility in my body lately, and while I want to love my fat body I also want to take care of it. So I did something new yesterday - I joined an actual gym.
Now let me be very, very clear about this. I have absolutely zero intention of doing an intensive weight loss program. I lost 80 lbs using one, but then put on 110 lbs and am now the biggest I've ever been. Not cool. I did one yo-yo, and know enough to refuse to spend my life doing that. So while I would love to get down to at least my pre-weight-loss weight, that's not actually the goal. The goal is to be able to walk from work to the mall and not feel sore and out of breath. The goal is to get up off the floor properly when working on things.. The goal is to be able to do more than one flight of stairs without gasping for air. The goal is to keep up with long-legs McKyle when walking instead of asking him to slow down.
The gym I joined is one that seems more geared towards extreme goals. You start off with two personal trainer sessions and one nutrition session. I had my first trainer session, an assessment, today. I was pretty leery, but my friend who goes to this gym hooked me up with an awesome trainer. She listened to and respected my goal, and right away zeroed in on improving my ankle stability as a starting point so that I don't sprain it again and take myself out of commission. That's a goal I can definitely get behind!
I'm pretty excited about both of these goals now. Plus, while it's not a major goal, maybe I'll one day be able to fit into the Star Wars skirt I just got! (Apparently ThinkGeek and I disagree about what a 2X looks like...)
