Earlier this week, I was walking home from the transit centre after a long day of work. I listen to podcasts while walking, but only in one ear so that I can hear anyone coming up behind me (another issue for another day). As I was walking, a car with its windows open stopped and some young men in the back seat tried to get my attention. Immediately I cringed, and my whole body tensed up. I ignored them, pointedly looking straight ahead. I've been there too many times before. Sure enough, as soon as they realized I wasn't going to give them what they wanted, polite attempts to get my attention turned into calls of "you fucking bitch" as they drove away.
It was my reminder that mosquitoes and sunburns are not the only drawbacks to summer that we forget about over winter. Men yelling out of cars is right at the top of that list, at least for me and some of my co-workers.
Now I suspect some of my less-harassed readers might be wondering something. Why did I not just acknowledge those guys? Maybe they just wanted directions or something? And there is always a tiny possibility of that. However, innumerable past experiences suggest to me that they were more likely going to make some sort of unwelcome advance, and when I didn't respond in the way they wanted then I would have gotten the same abuse hurled at me anyway. They fit into one category of men yelling out of cars, the "be nice and hit on you until you don't do what we want and then abuse you" category. But there are others:
Fast Drive-By Type 1: these open the windows as they are flying by on the road to yell out things like "nice ass" or "sexy lady". Admittedly, I mostly see my friends get this, while it is far too common for some women I more often get Type 2. But this is horribly objectifying and doesn't make anyone feel good about themselves
Fast Drive-By Type 2: like Type 1, these are quick encounters where the car is gone before you can even react. However the verbalization is very different, this with more of the "fat slut" or "stupid bitch" type comments. The reason I am writing this post is that I had one of these today while I was adjusting my shoes.
Athletic Commentators: for some reason, being in the middle of some athletic pursuit seems to greatly increase the chances of being yelled at out of a car. Again, these can be unwelcome compliments or they can be flat out abuse. I think my favourite was when I was making a pathetic attempt at hill training with my friend Megan and some lovely gents felt the need to call us bitches from their car, adding on to the pain of being running up a hill to begin with. I find, as a fat person who sometimes dares also be a runner, that this type can be far more objectifying and dis-empowering, whether they are of the (unwelcome) "compliment" type or the insult type (I've lost count of the "run faster you slow bitch" ones).
Talk About You: ah, another favourite. These guys take a different approach, instead of yelling at you directly, they yell at each other about you. Again, these range from unwelcome compliments/advances ("look at the one in blue, she looks like hot piece of ass") to outright abuse ("oh wow, do you see that ugly cow?") but either way are awful.
ting the idea.
I'm sure I could think of more categories if I wanted, but hopefully you're get
After the incident the other day, I ended up in a conversation with some of my amazing co-workers about the general un-safeness of being a female. While stories of much more intensely violating acts (public masturbation while staring, houses broken into, being physically grabbed and touched, etc) came from this conversation, something that really disturbed me was that when I mentioned the car thing everyone in the room knew the exact feeling of sickening tenseness I felt when those guys tried to get my attention. I didn't have to explain why I got tense, they knew. Because every other lady there has had this happen. One of them pointed out that on her walk home, she puts her music on full blast because she can't go forty-five minutes without having at least one incident of being yelled at from a car. This is just such a part of our everyday lives that we all just deal with it, ignore it, block it out, and let it be.
Why the fuck is this okay?
Seriously. If you are a man who yells out of cars at women, stop it. It is not okay. It is ridiculous and terrible and you need to figure out why you feel you have this right to intrude into women's lives and invade their space. You don't.
And if you're a woman who has been yelled at out of a car (which, if you are a woman is apparently pretty much a guarantee), then I am sorry that someone felt the need to treat you that way. You deserve to be allowed to walk down the streets in peace.
EDIT: July 29, 2015
I've decided to try to do something creative with all these experiences. So if you have experiences of street harassment you're willing to share, there is a link on the side of the blog to a Google form. Or it's right here.
